Funny Old Age Poems

Welcome to these Funny Old Age Poems that are with no malice and pure fun for the stages of growing older.
These are free for your non commercial purpose.





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Funny Old Age Poems

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I feel the same inside
A shame the outsides not the same;
The bits started dropping off
As soon as forty I became.

Not too bad I thought at once
Having said that my eyes are shot;
I look in the mirror and a stranger see
Obviously me -I just forgot!

Wrinkly around the edges
But full of love inside;
It's those who are aged
They're the ones I can't abide.

I will not wear crimplene though
I downright and absolute refuse;
Twin sets are a no go too
It's hippy time so lets recycle and re-use.
Maggiemay

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To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.
Amos Bronson Alcott

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I now have the time to do what I want
The willpower is still there too;
The bones and the muscles are lagging behind
So is my wallet too.

Things I used to think about
Daring to dream that one day;
I would sit and look at the sun
In the tropics on holiday.

The taxman seems to have it in
For everyone but himself;
If he had his way we would
All be stuck on the shelf.

Gardenings alright and swimming is to
Visiting my friends is great;
Excitement on occasion would be nice
Maybe boredom is my fate.

I'm breathing that means I'm alive
But it's living that I want to do;
So come on folks and lets go to the races
See if my horse will beat your kangaroo.
Maggiemay

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Funny Old Age Poems

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The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it.
Arthur Schopenhauer

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Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

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Youth is wasted on the young
The golden years wasted on the aged;
More love is what we need +
TV's and electronics disengage.

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I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance.

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Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things...

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite thin gs.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Sung by Julie Andrews to the tune of
Some of my Favorite things

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Funny Old Age Poems



If you see an oldie!

If you don't laugh you'll only cry
When you realise life has passed you by;
That's why most of them are grumpy
Their lifes road has been to bumpy.

So if you see one moping about
Go over to them and give them a shout;
They can't hear a lot you see
But they'll chat away happily.
Maggiemay

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Funny Old Age Poems